Woah two days in a row. Who’s on a roll? This girl.
Am I allowed to call myself a girl now that I’m supposedly all grown up? I’ll have to think on that.
Moving on.
Through motherhood I am discovering that life is all about choices. Choices between right and wrong, between good decisions and poor ones, between the old man and the new man. Every day I must choose to respond to the trials in my life.
Now don’t get me wrong, my life is pretty peachy. But Mommyhood will test you like none other. And I am choosing (eh, eh, you get it?) to look at it as a learning experience. One in which the Lord will refine me and teach me a lot of things.
One thing that I have been desperately searching for is more patience. I have always known that I am not the most patient person in the world. Just ask my brothers – man do they have some stories. On second thought, don’t ask my brothers. I don’t want those stories out in the open.
But Motherhood has shed a very uncomfortable light on my patience threshold. Which on some days is about a -3. But as I have been praying for more patience the Lord has been revealing that patience is a choice. In that split second before I feel my blood start to boil or before I just explode I have a choice. And I am trying very hard to choose patience.
Do not read that last statement and assume that I mean I can do that on my own. We all now what assuming gets you, now don’t we? A donkey.
But through Christ I know that my old man, my sinful nature, was crucified with Him and my new man was raised with Him.
For we died and were buried with Christ by baptism. And just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glorious power of the Father, now we also may live new lives. [...] We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives.
Romans 6:4b, 6a
Today, I was praying for more passion. More passion in my walk with the Lord. And yet again, the Lord revealed that passion is a choice. I can choose to pursue the Lord. I can choose to wholeheartedly follow Him. And then, and only then, will true passion develop. Because my relationship with Him is not a checklist that has a completion prize awarded at the end.
I am still learning. Most days I fall short. But I guess that is the beauty of grace.
Like I have said before, motherhood is a training ground for servant hood. Patience is one of those lessons! Good job, and you are learning the lesson very, very well!