So Long, Farewell

Well I said goodbye to my kids today. I was sad all day. No tears yet, but I have been on the verge several times.

It is funny how attached you get to these kids. You pour yourself into them everyday, practically raising them; and then they are gone. Despite the numerous tears, the complaining phone calls to my mother, the complete frustration, the utter desperation; I fell in love with 32 kids. Thirty two precious boys and girls who made me want to pull my hair out and then made me want to take them home.

Over these few months we all came such a long way. Me, as a teacher – learning how to take things in stride, learning how to teach, how to love, how to discipline. And them as students – how to keep their hands to themselves, use kind words, and raise their hands before speaking on the carpet.

So even though I discovered the hard way that everything must be nailed to the floor – chairs, tables, bookcases – or else they will go flying through the air, I will miss those little faces.

The Mrs. Alexander Inside Story

Well, it has been far too long. I kept telling myself I would update with cute stories and funny anecdotes during my student teaching and never found the time. And now my life has progressed and it is far too busy. But I think I need to write for cathartic purposes, so here it goes. :)

I graduated in December on a Saturday and started my new (REAL) job on Monday. Yes, as in two days. The sensory overload is still coming on strong. I teach 3 and 4 year old kids with Region 16 Head Start. I would love to say how much I love it, but the love has not shown itself yet.

These 32 kids have to qualify to be in the program and unfortunately this means I have damaged kiddos and they are very difficult.  I have a child who has thrown chairs and tables and cake pans (we have a kitchen area) and whatever else he could get his hands on. I have another child who screams at the top of her lungs when she is angry; which is OFTEN! Many children are completely defiant and simply refuse to listen. Several are incredibly impulsive and cannot control themselves. Thrown into that mix is a child who literally has no social skills. And at three crashing a car into another child’s block tower is enough to justify just about anything.

But then I think of the child I had to call CPS for because of a story that makes my heart hurt. And I think of the child has been abused in every way possible and by three years old has seen more than I ever will. I think of the children that do not eat when they get home; or the ones that are neglected and ignored by the adults in their lives. And I realize that they need me. God put me here for a reason. What reason I am not sure, other than the fact that they can have a stable and safe home away from home where they can be loved and cared for.

If only I could get the chairs to stop flying…

Becoming Mrs. Alexander

School has started again. I can’t believe I only have this semester left! But what a busy semester it is going to be… I am nervous. And excited. But mostly nervous.

My schedule is quite strange for these next couple of weeks. I finished one class. (It was only four days) I now have a FULL week off! :) (Not that I’m excited or anything) The week after that I have 8-5 meetings on Monday, Tuesday & Friday.

But then, oh but then, I start student teaching. I embark on my twelve week journey that is a full-time job with no compensation. Well, no compensation in the form of money. Hopefully I will feel it worth my while to spend all day working for a class of second graders. :)

I am no longer working (see above full-time job) and have been able to enjoy my time at home. The time has made me long for the days when I can be a housewife. I enjoy being busy on my own time; keeping with my own set schedule; feeling extraordinarily accomplished for seemingly meaningless tasks like going to the bank and baking cookies. Because to me, those are not meaningless tasks. But rather quite the opposite. They are tasks filled with love. Love for my husband and our life together. And one day, it will be love for my children.

But this time of bliss filled with love and chocolate chips is short for now. For I will soon become Mrs. Alexander to a classroom of bilingual children. A classroom filled with children who must be served breakfast and lunch at school for the reassurance that they get fed at least two times a day. A room filled with 7 and 8 year olds who will be placed in my hands for a semester.